Marlene Dumas

Measuring your own Grave

not for the people but from the people

진정 사람을 이해한 작업이란
그들을 위한 작업이기전에
그들에게서 시작된 작업이다.


성숙한 세상

아름다운 세상이란 내겐 성숙한 세상이다.

사람들의 사고가 미천하지 않아서 
상대를 먼저 생각하고
어떤 일에도 결국에는 웃어보이고
남을 미워하기전에 이해로 용서하고.

자기 감정을 내보여 타인에게 상처를 주는 사람들을 보면 마음이 아프다.
왜 그들은 더 넓고 크게 생각하지 못하는 것일까?
특히나 내가 존경하는 사람들이 그런 모습을 보일때면 마음 한켠이 서먹해진다.

언제나 아름다운 모습으로 있어주길 바라는 것도 내 욕심이겠지. 내가 이 마음마저 버릴 수 있는날 그런 세상이 올라나. 

모두가 자신보다는 남을 배려하고 사랑하고 베푸는 그런 성숙한 세상은 이상적인 것일까? 
왜 하늘은 내게 그런 세상이 있다고 온다고 하며 기다리게 하는가?
한번만 인내하면 모두가 웃을 수 있는 세상일텐데,

그 세상을 모르는 사람들

내가 이래 봤자 오늘도 그냥 횡설수설 하는 정도겠지.


술을 잘 못 마시는 사람입니다.
술보다는 술자리가 좋았던 사람입니다.
어느덧 술이 벗이 되었습니다.
술김에 살고 있는듯 합니다.
술김에 미친척 잘도 살고 있는듯 합니다.


ART interested me very little

Giacometti used to say that art(or "ART" as he wrote it) interested him very little, but truth interested him infinitely more. Yet truth, for him, was the whole of reality as it could be perceived by the artist's eye, capable of discerning in the appearance of a tree, an apple, and above all, of face the inexhaustible source of creative stimulation.

While I was reading the paragraph above, I was stiff by the moment of sharing the thought with Giacometti. And Yes, it is mostly intangible experiences that I hear and feel for... It does not exist right next to me but it breathes in the books and somewhere-else...uncanny world...

It is not difficult to find someone to talk to but it seems not easy to recognize someone who could communicate with.... and I still have one directional communication with the reality. I know the truth, which I could relate deeply with exists in this universe with me, yet in different time and space. I am still waiting for godot not in Samual Beckett's world but in my own world.


being alive within pains

In the final analyis, art- true art- will always remain facing the closed gate. The antagonisms of illusion and reality, objectivity and subjectivity, movement and immobility, whole and partial, universal and individual, eternal and ephemeral, will always remain unsolved, As such, they also remain in the artist's and writer's imagination, defying aspirations, challenge, and creation. This is the true not only of the artist and the writers themselves, but also of the reader, the observer of their works. Failure becomes success, defeat is really victory.

I am alive because I still go with unfinished struggle.


from 2007 february to yesterday

We were friends and have become estranged. But this was right, and we do not want to conceal and obscure it from ourselves as if we had reason to feel ashamed. We are two ships each of which has its goal and course; our paths may cross and we may celebrate a feast together, as we did- and then the good ships related so quietly in one harbor and one sunshine that it may have looked as if they reached their goal as if they had one goal. But then the almighty force of our tasks drove us apart again into different seas and sunny zones, and perhaps we shall never see each other again; perhaps we shall meet again but fail to recognize each other: our exposure to different seas and suns has changes us. That we have become estranged is the law above us; by the same token we should also become more venerable for each other- and the memory of our former friendship more scared. There is probably a tremendous but invisible stellar orbit in which our very different ways and goals may be included as small parts of this path; let us rise up to this thought. But our life is too short and our power of vision too small for us to be more than friends in the sense of this sublime possibility- Let us then believe in our star friendship even if we should be compelled to be earth enemies.


 참으로 쉽고 즐거운 삶에 취해서 살아 있었나 봅니다.

남들이 아프고 힘들어 할때 올바르게 정리하지 못하는 그네들의 인생이 안타깝고 한심했습니다.
당신의 의지로 되지 않는것은 그네들이 바보이기 때문이라고 생각했습니다. 
나는 그들과 다르다고 생각했습니다.

너무 어릴때 깨인 머리가 점점 바보가 되어가고 있습니다. 

언어는 그 순간에만 진실이라는 걸 알면서도 자꾸만 집착합니다.
나를 지나간 수 많은 당신들에게 사죄합니다.

부족한 나였습니다.